Opposites Attract
by Thegreenconsultingdragonlord
Summary: Galinda's friend has a new theory and Elphaba doesn't like it. One-shot. Fiyeraba(-ish).


**I don't actually know what this is. It was 3 in the morning, I wanted to write something... and this happened XD **

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**Opposites Attract**

The tall brunette slammed her tray down on the table before flicking her hair out of her eyes with a swift hand motion. Elphaba looked up at her, startled by her sudden appearance. As the girl sat down beside Galinda, Elphaba felt a flicker of disappointment. Once again, her lunch alone with Galinda had been disturbed... but then again she should have known it wouldn't be too long before one of Galinda's cronies decided to join them.

_Why is there such a strong correlation between popularity and the number of girls here who wear pink? _she wondered absentmindedly. It was an odd thing about Shiz... all the so called 'popular' girls always wore these pink flouncy dresses, like they were in some sort of gaudy uniform. She wondered if when skinny, pretty girls enrolled at Shiz they were taken to the side and whispered _Wear pink! It's the rule if you want to be popular_.

"Hello," Elphaba said, shooting the girl a polite smile.

"Hi," the girl replied, averting her eyes.

Her tone was courteous, but Elphaba could tell she was very uncomfortable by her presence. Elphaba didn't really care. She was used to it by now.

"Angie!" Galinda shrieked, waving her arms in delight, "How thrillifying that you're here! I've been looking for you all day!"

As the two girls embraced, Elphaba flinched. Their dresses were such nauseatingly luminous shades of pink, she found herself blinded by the sight of two of them in such close proximity of each other. The brightness of their dresses was probably so that people could spot a 'popular' girl from a mile away, Elphaba mused. She wasn't sure why you would need to be able to spot one of them from that distance... unless of course what you needed was a head start to run away from them.

"How did the date with... _you know who... _go?" Galinda asked as soon as they broke apart.

Elphaba didn't understand their need for code names. Galinda had pretty much told her everything about Angie and Avaric's date plans the night before, which essentially meant that there was no one on their table who _didn't_ know who 'you-know-who' was. She wondered who they were hiding Avaric's identity from... Angie's dignity, perhaps.

"She had a date with Lord Voldemort?" Elphaba joked. She immediately regretted her words, however, when she received two quizzical looks in response.

"Who? No, Elphie." Galinda shot her a look, "She had a date with..." Galinda tilted her head and widened her eyes, as if to remind Elphaba of the conversation that they had the night before. Elphaba rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I recall. I was just kidding."

"I don't understand," Angie said, looking baffled "Who's Lord Voldershort?"

"The lord of stupid names?" Elphaba suggested, before mentally berating herself.

She always made jokes when she was uncomfortable, which was stupid... because it was pretty much a sure-fire way of making an awkward situation even more awkward.

"Oh." Angie said blankly, "I don't know him."

She turned back to Galinda, "It was awful! Do you know what he said to me?"

"Oh no!" Galinda's eyes grew wide with concern, "What?"

"He said..." Angie looked around before hissing in a low voice, "That we were not _compatible._"

"Oh my god!" Galinda's hand flew to her mouth, "Why?"

"I have no idea!" Angie said, distraught. She thought for a moment before adding, "What does compatible mean?"

_Wow. _

"Doesn't it mean like, we can catch fire easily?"

Elphaba decided at this point that she had lost quite enough brain cells listening to this conversation. As much as she loved talking to Galinda, she really couldn't deal with her friends or their idea of 'good topics of conversation'. Pulling out her book from her bag, she placed it on her lap and began reading. Though, unfortunately there wasn't much she could do to block out the high-pitched tones of Galinda and Angie's voices.

"No silly!" Galinda was chiding her friend, "It means that you two aren't meant for each other."

"_What? _Why?"

"I don't know... maybe you did something wrong. What did you do on your date last night?"

"Nothing! We had a couple of drinks, we danced, we went back to his room... it was a usual date."

Galinda furrowed her brow, thinking hard.

"I don't know Angie," she said, finally, "But whatever it is, he's an idiot. You are too amazifying for him."

"Yeah," Angie sighed, melancholically. "I just... I wish I had a nice,_ meaningful _relationship like you and Fiyero."

Elphaba tried to suppress her scoff. From the little interaction she had had with the Winkie Prince, one thing was for sure - nothinghe did was 'meaningful'. Unless it was 'meaningfully' annoying the crap out of her with his smirking and his comments about her odd fashion sense. Not to mention he had taken to calling her 'cucumber', which was perhaps the most unoriginal nickname she had ever received... well, after 'green girl' at any rate.

"Yeah," Galinda was saying, proudly, "Fiyero and I _are _pretty good together, aren't we?"

"You are, you are," Angie was nodding profusely, "It was like you two were meant to be. You were the first person he met when he came to Shiz right? It's like, a sign from the universe!"

Galinda beamed. "You will find someone just like Fiyero someday, Angie," she promised, "And then all of us can double date, it will be so cute!"

Angie smiled and then immediately frowned. "But... I still don't know why Avaric thought we wouldn't work out."

Galinda and her both fell into a deep silence, mulling over the thought. Their pursed lips and furrowed brows gave the impression that they were debating a theory that could potentially win them a nobel prize. Watching them from the corner of her eye, Elphaba smiled until Angie suddenly snapped her fingers, startling her.

"I've got it!" Angie proclaimed triumphantly, "Its because Avaric and I are too much alike."

Galinda wrinkled her nose, "Sweetie, I don't think that's a thing..."

"No, it makes sense!" Angie insisted, "Haven't you heard that thing... opposites attract?"

"Yes but..."

"It makes sense. When you are opposites, you balance each other out, you know? Like, when you are having a stressful day he can calm you down, and when he doesn't eat all his olives, you can eat them for him." Angie's face was ecstatic, "That kind of thing!"

"What does that mean then?" Galinda asked, doubtfully.

"It means I have to find someone who is my opposite, and then we will be happy together."

Angie smiled, her simple theory filling her with complete joy. Galinda, on the other hand, didn't seem too excited by the concept.

She bit her lip nervously. "But... Fiyero and I are a lot alike," she admitted, softly.

"Oh yeah," Angie seemed to deflate, "I guess it doesn't work then..." She sighed, "but then why do people _say _that opposites attract?"

Galinda shrugged, "I don't know... maybe because..."

Elphaba watched Galinda shift uncomfortably in her chair. She rolled her eyes again. She didn't know why Angie's silly theory was stressing Galinda out so much. She highly doubted Galinda's relationship with Fiyero would have lasted much longer anyway. Not because they didn't have anything in common... quite the opposite actually. No, it was because even though the tiny blonde girl believed she was going to be the next Queen of the Vinkus, Fiyero's track-record with school expulsions suggested that he'd be forced to break up with her in a few weeks, when he'd fail his mid-terms and get packed off another school.

"Then who _would _Fiyero's perfect match be if not me?" Galinda finally snapped, clearly unable to think of a suitable answer.

"Well obviously someone who is the opposite of him. Someone who is _not_ handsome..." Angie began listing off traits on her fingers, "and hates parties and likes studying and doesn't have a lot of friends..."

The brunette stopped suddenly as a thought hit her. Without warning, she began giggling. The giggles then turned into full-fledged laughter and she grabbed her stomach as the her thin frame shook. Galinda sent Elphaba a quizzical look, but the green girl was now absorbed in her book, unaware of the third girl's fits of laughter.

"What is it?" Galinda demanded, "What's so funny?"

"I know who Fiyero's perfect match is," Angie said, as her laughter finally died down. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she sent the blonde girl a small smile.

"Who?"

"Elphaba."

Elphaba's head snapped up so fast, she was sure she heard her neck crack.

"_What?" _

Galinda's eyes were wide, "Elphaba is Fiyero's soulmate?"

Elphaba gave the brunette a hard look, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You and Fiyero... you guys are opposites."

"Yes..."

"So, opposites attract."

Elphaba sent her a strange look, "Ok firstly, gross and secondly... gross."

"I'm telling you, you guys are meant for each other." Angie said, a wide grin on her face, "You guys can balance each other out! You can help him study for his tests and he can take you out to parties and get you to loosen up a bit. It's perfect!"

"No it is not _perfect._" Elphaba snarled, "And stop talking like that, what if someone hears you?"

Her grin growing wider, Angie began singing a loud, flawed rendition of 'Elphaba and Fiyero sitting on a tree...' misspelling 'kissing'.

Elphaba's face contorted with horror as students from the other tables turned to give them befuddled looks.

"Oh Oz, _no!"_ She hissed with panic, shaking her hands wildly before her, as though Angie had just offered her a snack of rat poison. "No no no! Stop it. I do _not_ want Fiyero Tiggular."

"Don't lie," Angie teased, her voice still loud, "Like you've never fantasized about Fiyero. I mean, he's in your room all the time. The other day he changed in your room, right? When Glin and him were going for that party? Did you get a nice long look at his..."

"Oh my god, shut up!"

"I was going to say chest."

"Elphie! You fantasized about my boyfriend? How could you?" Galinda asked, her lower lip stuck out in a pout, "I thought we were friends!"

Elphaba looked from Angie to Galinda with a bewildered look.

"We are!" she said, stricken, the words tumbling out of her mouth. "I have no interest in Fiyero! I swear! He's arrogant and obnoxious and he irritates me and..."

She froze when she realized that both Galinda and Angie were grinning wickedly.

"You guys..." she gasped.

They burst into peals of laughter as Elphaba scowled.

"That was hilarious." Galinda said, amidst giggles, "I had no idea the thought of dating Fiyero horrified you so much."

Elphaba blushed a deep green, turning back to her book. She gritted her teeth and tried to focus on the words on the page before her. She couldn't tell if she was angry or embarrassed. Probably both.

"It's a good thing, Elphie," Galinda teased, "I'll never have to worry about you stealing him away from me."

Elphaba swore angrily under her breath, causing the two girls to erupt into fresh peals of laughter.

_What a stupid joke. _

Though a nagging feeling in the back of her mind wondered why she had acted so vehemently to it.

"What's so funny?" A deep voice asked from beside her.

_Oh no. _

Elphaba squeezed her eyes shut, not looking up from her book.

_Please let it not be... _

"What are you doing, cucumber? Praying?"

She opened her eyes to shoot the Winkie Prince a glare. He responded with his irritating trademark smirk.

The two girls across from her were smiling broadly, clearly struggling to hold in their laughter.

"We were just talking about you, dearest." Galinda said, batting her eyelashes at her boyfriend.

"Good things, I hope." He said, sliding into the chair beside Elphaba, "But then again, how can they not be?"

Elphaba groaned internally.

_My 'soulmate', ladies and gentlemen. _

"We were just saying that you and Elphaba might have been cute together, had you met her first." Angie said, grinning devilishly.

Fiyero blinked, clearly not expecting this topic of conversation.

"Actually, uh.. I did meet Elphaba first."

"What?"

The two girls simultaneously dropped their grins.

"Yeah, my carriage almost ran her over and she woke me up by hitting me on the head with a book."

"But..." Galinda looked at Angie. Clearly their 'fate made Galinda the first person Fiyero met on campus' theory was now redundant.

"But its not like you two would have dated," Angie put in, hastily.

"I don't know," Fiyero shrugged, nonchalantly, "If she had been nicer to me... and wore some less frumpy clothes maybe I would have."

Elphaba glared at him. She couldn't tell if he was mocking her or being playfully teasing. Either way she didn't like it.

"Even if you had, I wouldn't have said yes," she stated, poisonously.

"Well then I would have kept trying," Fiyero said, unaffected by her tone. "I would have continued irritating you until you decided to go out with me."

"But now that you're dating Galinda you've decided to just continue irritating me for no reason at all?"

"Who said there's no reason?"

She stared at him and he winked in response. Furiously, she turned back to her book.

"Fiyero!" Galinda demanded, "What are you saying?"

"I'm not saying anything, Lin, I'm just saying that maybe I would have gone out with Elphaba, had she been nicer to me when we first met."

Galinda gaped at him, "So you don't want to go out with me, is that it?"

"I didn't say that. You were the ones saying that Elphaba and I would make a cute couple," Fiyero drawled, "I was merely agreeing."

Galinda stood up in a huff, "I am officially not speaking to you anymore, Fiyero Tiggular."

With a definitive flip of her hair, she stormed away from the table. Angie shot them a confused look before scurrying after her friend.

"Well now you've pissed her off," Elphaba said, gesturing towards Galinda's retreating figure, "Now she's going to be mad at me!"

"Why would she be mad at you? You didn't agree that we'd make a cute couple." Fiyero reminded her.

"Still! Why would you say that? We can't stand each other."

"Says who?"

She gawked at him. He grinned.

"It really amuses me how agitated you get when I hit on you," he said, smirking.

"If that's what you call flirting, you might want to re-think some things."

"I don't call that flirting, I call that helping you out."

"How the _hell _was that helping me out?"

A small smile appeared on the prince's face. "I heard them teasing you earlier. I thought I'd help you get some revenge."

He winked at her again.

"People will think you have an eye-twitch if you keep doing that," she said, trying to sound irritated but failing.

Had Fiyero actually taken her side? Was Fiyero actually being _not a douchebag _for a change?

"Hey, I just helped you take revenge on two girls who were being obnoxious to you, why are you still taking jibes at me?"

"So what do you want me to do?"

"I want us to be friends."

_Huh? _

She paused to think about it. "If you stop calling me cucumber." she said finally.

"Nope."

She frowned, "Well then forget about it."

"And I'm not going to stop making fun of your clothes either."

"I was right from the start, you are a jerk."

He shot her a dazzling smile. "Too bad. I did something nice for you. That means we're friends now." He looked towards the door, and sighed, "I should go make up with Galinda."

"You mean make _out _with Galinda."

"Jealous?"

"As if."

He got up from his chair and flashed her another smile.

"I'll see you later, cucumber."

She watched students clamour around him as he walked away looking for Galinda.

_What an asshole _she thought as he disappeared from the room.

_I mean, yes, it was nice of him to help me... if you could call what he did 'help'. But he's still such an asshole._

_I don't know what Galinda sees in him. _

She got up from her chair and headed towards her dorm.

_I mean, yes... he has nice eyes. But that's about it. _

_Ok and I guess, his unruly hair does kind of make him look adorable. _

_But still, to say that he's my soulmate? Gross_

_As if I could ever want him._

Elphaba suddenly stopped in her tracks.

_Shit. _


End file.
